Sasuke the Fool
by Tobee
Summary: The bonds of Team 7 are long broken and Sasuke wants to Revolutionize the shinobi system, even if it means returning to Konoha to kill Naruto, although the idea never crosses his mind when he stumbles upon a seal that could eliminate all these problems in the first place; and no- it was not the Infinite Tsukuyomi. (Fuuinjutsu!Naruto Strong!Sakura Fem!Sasuke-centric. Time Travel.)
1. 1: Pride

Sasuke Shippuden

* * *

Arc 1: Preventing the Uchiha Massacre

* * *

"Now should be the time I actually contact Uzumaki Naruto," Adult-Sasuke mused with innate frustration as he stared at the complex ink seal encompassing the abandoned battlefield before him.

Was someone trying to seal the remnants of the Great Chakra Tree?

 _Yeah…no._

By the time his messenger hawk reached Naruto and the dobe finally arrived, all this—powerful resource- would be gone, taken, claimed by an unknown factor.

World peace would be threatened again.

Itachi's sacrifice would be wasted.

Sasuke held back a chuckle. Who was he, to rely on Uzumaki Naruto?

It wasn't as though Naruto had been studying hard at seals—despite his currently pathetic attempt to emulate his father's Hiraishin no Jutsu.

Sasuke found that absurd—If Naruto wanted to learn the teleportion trick, he could have done so before the war. Why now during peacetime?

Sasuke also found himself a bit angry—his old rivalry rekindling. As of now, he could teleport by a mere glance of his new Rinnegan, the only one alive after Obito in fact—and now Naruto would soon be capable of doing the same with seals and kunai.

"..No."

 _I am not contacting Naruto over a mere seal._

"Uzumaki blood does not immediately make you a fuuinjutsu master." Sasuke felt the need to say aloud. "Uchiha Sharingan, on the other hand, can do just that." With that said, Sasuke pulled out an advanced guidebook on seals (written by the genius Orochimaru himself,) activated his copy-wheel-eye, and memorized every line of the book while flipping the pages with hand seal speed.

He completed a thousand pages within a matter of seconds.

Snapping the hardcover book shut and smirking smugly, Sasuke picked himself up from the shade of the oak tree, and approached the war-torn battlefield, reading over the millions of sealing patterns.

"Heh. It's quite simple, I have to deactivate the seal by retracing it," he smirked confidently with his newfound knowledge. He learned what would have taken Naruto and his shadow clones years (mainly due to the dobe's hatred for textbooks) in only a matter of seconds. Naruto will always be the dead last, Sasuke will always be at the top.

There were some formulas he'd never seen before—those were obviously custom, self-invented, or useless and designed to throw an onlooker off track.

Sasuke's Sharingan took in every chakra color floating around the seals, rainbows, lavender, green, red, orange…

It was as through the seal master sacrificed human chakra systems to create this—or it was made by a god, or it might have been due to the special tree parts lying around.

"Whatever," Sasuke proclaimed as he stepped into the center of the seal, weaving a few hundred hand seals in a blur of speed.

"Fuuinjutsu: shitsu katsu!"

The seal started retracting on itself and Sasuke's body movements stilled completely and he couldn't move a single muscle on his body- as if he'd become one with the seal, like stone, and the colorful chakra was fluctuating madly.

 _Damn, did I screw up the technique?_ "Tch!" _My body is slowly becoming numb. I'm slowly loosing the feeling of my nerves from my toes to my legs. And I'm alone for miles._

 _At this rate...I'll die._

Sasuke swallowed. He'd lived a long life.

"I might have not set foot inside Konoha for a decade," Sasuke admitted, "but at least I reconciled with Sakura."

"Sure I haven't purged out the elders and political leaders or revolutionized the shinobi system as I wanted," Sasuke sighed, "but at least Naruto became the Hokage."

"I never avenged you, Itachi," Sasuke reminisced, "but at least your sacrifice wasn't wasted." _Or was it?_

With that piece of doubt in mind, Sasuke forced out his last words as the seal itself crawled up the skin of his body. "I've lived a long life, and loved every second of it; _I regret nothing_ **.** "

And then the body of Uchiha Sasuke vanished, along with any trace of the seal. What was left was a barren wasteland, no evidence of any fuuinjutsu or Sasuke's presence, except some belongings of his.

His black hair, red and purple eyes, skin, legs, bones, anything connected biologically to his chakra system disappeared. Whatever he was wearing; his cape, clothing, sword, and materials lost against gravity and fell to the floor.

Possessions left to rot in the middle of nowhere.

In the center of the lump of clothing was a picture frame.

A blonde boy at the right, a pinkette in the center, an Uchiha at the left, and a masked Sensei towering over them.

No one would believe _it was them_ by the time someone found the picture frame.

Ironically, Sasuke was the only one who _still_ carried the Team 7 photograph around, Sakura and Naruto had long lost, or put away, theirs.

Not that any of that matters anymore- _Uchiha Sasuke was dead._

But at least he saved the world?

* * *

死亡之神

* * *

"Who am I kidding?! I never had the chance to see their faces a final time, for well over a decade!" Sasuke wrung his hands up from his bed. "I lost everything a second time! Just when I finally began to accept them as 'family,'" he started rambling, "YOU HAD TO TAKE ALL OF IT AWAY!"

Sasuke grit his teeth. "Just what the hell do you want from me?!" This time, there was nothing to get revenge on. "What do you expect me to do?!"

He clenched his fists in rage, before realizing his hands were as tiny and soft and weak as a toddler's, and that he was back in his old bedroom- of the same house he shared with his Uchiha family, before everyone of his clan died.

Impossible.

 _I died._

 _I should be in Hell. Not here.  
...Or is this...Hell?_

Sasuke sucked in a breath, his fear rising. There was no way Hell would be like this- This was exactly what he _would_ dream of in an Infinite Tsukuyomi- But that technique was long unsealed, and his Sharingan can penetrate anything, he was certain.

This was reality.

"I'm seeing wrong. I was crying earlier. Now that I think about it, my eyes kind of hurt," he found his voice incredibly childish and squeaky. "I'm hearing wrong too."

Holding his palms into his eyes, he let out a choked gasp as a mass-production of tears leaked out of his throbbing eyes. Trembling, he blinked some more and dried his eyes with the sleeves of the same old dark blue shirt he had as a kid. His eyes started convulsing in pain, it hurt as much as when he first used his Mangekou Sharingan- in other words, he was long used to it, and didn't make a sound.

 _I have my Sharingan activated, so this is clearly not an illusion._

The last memory he had was of that damned seal he was too arrogant to ask for help in deactivating. And now here he was.

 _Could I possibly have time traveled?_

Sasuke remembered some parts of that seal about space-time jutsu, which he had dismissed so casually at that time. He assumed it was a storage seal meant to seal the Giant Chakra Tree's remains, but it was actually a time-travel seal powered by those tree parts. And Sasuke just happened to stumble upon it! Now it all made sense!

 _Heh. It was a good thing that I did. If the seal's originator used it to return to the past, he could potentially destroy the world by murdering Naruto and I as infants during low security, or worse. In that case, I've probably saved the world by using all the resources up before he could._

Now that he had no guilt left over what just happened, he could fully enjoy seeing his old family again.

Before he died in his past life, his last words were that he had no regrets. But with this 'rebirth,' he knew he had _too many_ regrets, it was countless.

He did not want his Uchiha family to die. He did not want Itachi to slaughter them and leave.

He didn't want to train everyday of his life and focus on only one goal, blinding himself from viewing the world with open eyes. He wanted detours.

And he wanted to Revolutionize the shinobi system. Naruto had stopped him, promised to work together- but he wasn't the one who became Hokage- It was Kakashi, and Kakashi didn't fire the Elders- he was just a placeholder for Naruto- who became a figurehead for advisers such as Shikamaru to manipulate. It was so infuriatingly annoying that Sasuke had plotted to kill Naruto himself.

An act that would no doubt destroy the world with their vast power scale- and he was certain Naruto wouldn't hold back this time- at least one of them would die a certain death in the process, while ninety nine percent of the world's life force would be wiped out. They were the world's demigod peacekeepers, but it was only a matter of time before the building tension between the two exploded into nuclear war...

In a way, this timing was incredible- ...He was just on the way home to murder Naruto after all- perhaps that act would have thrown the world into chaos and the Sage of Six Paths foresaw such an event, and created that seal specifically on the route Sasuke would take, knowing that Sasuke was too stubborn to listen to reason.

But...being sent back to the past- he could fix _everything._

It all made sense.

 _...  
_

 _..._

 _Itachi._

A glimmer of pride swelled in his chest as he hopped off the bed, stumbling a bit. All the objects and furniture were higher than his head now. That felt weird.

Sasuke bit his lip as he felt his bladder about to explode. _Right_ , this body probably didn't use the bathroom last night. Swallowing his excitement, Sasuke decided to get that part over with before going to the living room, where his mother and father should be waiting at-

He practically ran across the hall into the bathroom and once in front of the tub, he pulled down his pants, before trying to grasp at something that wasn't there.

 _?!_

Reluctantly, Sasuke glanced down to find that he was missing his male genitalia.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

死神


	2. 2: Bathroom with Itachi

This didn't make sense. How was he supposed to urinate?

Could his body possibly be female?

Sasuke tried to access the memories this body experienced and came up with the same general history he expected—being ignored by his father for his older brother, being comforted by his mother, and eating dinner together with his family while yearning Itachi's attention since getting any from Fugaku was a hopeless cause.

Counting a few annual celebrations—Sasuke estimated that he was 4 years old, and he was about to piss his pants if he didn't learn how to use the toilet—

No, he knew, he just had to sit his butt on the toilet seat—

Sasuke groaned, utterly humiliated.

 _Do I really have to do this?_

His bladder screamed him to piss and Sasuke grit his teeth. Just as he was about to turn, Itachi appeared in front of him.

"Wh-WHAH!" Sasuke yelped, startled as he stumbled backwards against the closed bathroom door. As his back hit the wall, he glanced behind him before looking back fearfully at Itachi—this reminding too much of the last death match he had against Itachi, when he was cornered to a wall about to have his eyeballs ripped out.

When in truth, Itachi forced himself to do all that for Sasuke's benefit.

Sasuke pressed his back against the wall, taking in the confused expression and furrowed brows on his older brother's usually blank face, and couldn't help but grin. "Heh. Nii-san. Heheheh."

Pushing himself off the wall, he leapt forward and hugged the nine-year-old, who was double his height but he didn't care. He missed this moment so much—now that he thought about it, he didn't remember ever _hugging_ anyone in his life. That was to change, Sasuke decided, as he curled his fingers a little tighter around the small of Itachi's back, pressing his face into nii-san's stomach.

And squeezed, as if to confirm all this was reality.

Sasuke loved his brother…but it wasn't love that had fueled his hatred for Konoha.

It was guilt.

Guilt that Itachi was a tool used and exploited by politicians, guilt that Itachi had tried to manipulate Sasuke into exploiting his death—to kill him and return to Konoha with honorary medals and monetary awards, and new eyes.

He labeled his 'guilt' as 'love' because _Uchiha Sasuke_ was _never_ guilty.

He did love Itachi, though, but it wasn't Itachi's sacrifices that made Sasuke love his brother—countless others like Naruto had risked their lives to bring him back to Konoha—he didn't love them.

It was simply because they were brothers, and he couldn't help how he felt.

"Foolish little sister," Itachi finally snapped out of his surprised trance. Sasuke was always affectionate. "For a moment, you acted afraid of me, and now, you're hugging me." He awkwardly patted 'her' back before roughly pushing 'her' off by a mere forehead-poke powered by chakra.

"Ow!" Sasuke's hands flew to his forehead immediately as his butt hit the floor. "Grh. You're always doing that!" Sasuke complained, though he couldn't hide his wistful smile.

Itachi blinked. That…expression…was the same one he had when he was around Sasuke—attempting to appreciate their little family moments to the fullest extent before heading off for a week-long A-rank mission.

But Sasuke was an immature kid, not a veteran shinobi, so why was 'she' acting like an old man?

"Little sister," Itachi began as Sasuke looked up at him with hopeful eyes, "Pull up your pants."

Sasuke's eyes widened as he looked down at his shorts—they were off because he needed to pee, but now he didn't feel the urge to urinate and he noticed his pants were soaked wet.

In other words, he pissed his pants, in front of Itachi.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Sasuke panicked as he hopped to his feet. In a flash of speed a 4-year-old shouldn't have, Sasuke was behind Itachi and pushing him out the door he opened in the process. "Get out, nii-san!"

"Profanity at this age? Tsk." Itachi chuckled. "Should you have trouble cleaning up after yourself, I'll call mother."

Sasuke groaned and slammed the bathroom door shut, before propping to the floor.

 _This was the most **humiliating** day of my life—_

 _I will **never** shame myself again. _

_I have my **pride**. _

Sasuke trembled a bit in embarrassment before gritting his teeth.

 _If I prevent the Uchiha Massacre, that will make up for all the embarrassment I suffered through today._

 _Then everyone will forget the events that just occurred because I performed a greater feat._

That sounded stupid and childish, Sasuke realized. Were his toddler hormones beginning to affect him?

He decided to try another thought process.

 _Itachi called me 'sister.' So I'm female. Tch. As if I care about my gender._

 _It might even be to my benefit for my plans on saving the clan._

Sasuke walked over to the shower and turned it on, the water splattering down as he stepped underneath it, reminded of the rain.

 _How am I going to prevent the downfall of my clan? What am I supposed to do, kill Danzo? What, in the middle of Konoha?_

 _And more importantly…Itachi met with 'Madara' before the massacre._

 _Obito Uchiha was impersonating as Madara._

Sasuke groaned under the showerhead.

He had to deal with Tobi, Danzo (and the elders), and some stupid Clan conflicts before they escalated into a civil war, as a 4-year-old. He calculated he had three years, but his time limit could change depending on what effects he caused.

 _If I could take every burden off Itachi's shoulders, I would do anything. Absolutely._

Sasuke laughed.

 _If I'm lucky…'Tobi' hasn't made a move yet._

 _He who moves first…always wins._


	3. 3: Reuniting with Family

In his past lifetime, Sasuke tended to be a nervous wreck at the dinner table, always under the unwavering gaze of his disappointed father and pensive expression of his mother, while Itachi, silent and emotionless, ate his food.

This time, however, Sasuke _basked_ in Fugaku's eyes of disappointment, enjoying the fact that his father even exists. He would take his father's disappointment over his father's absence anytime. It was a lesson he learned only after Itachi killed everyone, which was obviously much too late.

Having been given this second chance to eat with his family again, even if his father appeared to be disappointed in 'her,' Sasuke couldn't stop smiling.

"Stop smiling," Fugaku ordered.

Sasuke stopped smiling. "My mistake, father."

Mikoto looked pissed off.

"Why were you staring at me as if I've come back from the dead?" Fugaku asked instead, noting Mikoto's reaction. She would explode on him in private if they didn't settle it here- that damned Kushina's influence.

Taken aback, Sasuke wondered if he was really that obvious, because Fugaku hit it spot on. Deciding to go for the partially honest route, he confessed, "I figured that eating with tou-san, kaa-san, and nii-san, feels better than eating by myself."

Fugaku widened his eyes and Mikoto swallowed a gasp and held in her tears, finding it adorable and touching.

Itachi just smirked slightly, not taking his eyes off his food; he knew this side of Sasuke well. Affection was something Sasuke displayed the most to him, but when it involved 'her' parents, Sasuke was a bit reclusive. It was a nice change to see little Sasuke opening up.

"Well then," Fugaku coughed into his fist. "We are _Uchiha_ , it's how we're _born_ to feel. We are superior in that we have the skill to keep this weakness from appearing on our faces, but love for family is the proof that you have Uchiha blood in your veins."

Fugaku looked at Itachi pointedly. "The unbreakable love for family is what made the Uchiha clan survive and thrive all these centuries, unlike the Senju, who treasured the alliance of other clans, Konoha, more than their own family." Under his breath, he whispered, " _Minato made the same mistake._ "

Itachi trembled slightly, breaking his chopsticks. Appearing surprised at his lack of self-control, he picked himself up and took his bowl to the kitchen. "I'll be leaving for a mission."

Fugaku sighed, and Mikoto quickly stood onto her feet, following after Itachi.

Left alone with his father, Sasuke stared contemplatively.

 _The Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu is the proof that you are a full-fledged Uchiha, worthy to wear the clan insignia at your back.  
_

Blinking slowly, he spoke, "Father...the Great Fireball Technique...teach it to me..."

Fugaku almost choked. _Y-You haven't entered the Academy yet, we haven't decided whether you should even become a ninja,_ Fugaku wanted to say, although he knew all Uchiha worthy of their name became ninja. _You're too young._ He really wanted to say that. But he knew, if he did say any of that, it was out of bias- that he didn't want a second-Itachi. And those selfish actions were bad for the clan.

So Fugaku closed his eyes, and sighed. "You've done your research, Sasuke. I'll humor you, but do not expect to pull it off for years."

Sasuke smirked. "As if I care."

 _I don't care what happens to me as long as Itachi doesn't suffer..._


	4. 4: The Great Fireball Jutsu

.

* * *

They stood on the dock before the lake, the noon sun glistening the waters, and highlighting his father's figure, making him look almost god-like.

In a way, Sasuke did see his father- and mother- as something divine and _perfect_ , in the same category he placed Itachi.

No matter how much Itachi denied being perfect, Sasuke appreciated _everything_ Itachi did. He would even _thank_ Itachi for giving carbon dioxide to the Earth, if it didn't make him look creepy.

Tiger → Ram → Monkey → Boar → Horse → Tiger were the hand signs Fugaku weaved, before he breathed, "Katon: _Gōkakyū no Jutsu!"_ And massive fireball flew over the lake, enveloping a large section of the water surface and lighting the already bright sky.

Sasuke watched, lost in his memories. He remembered being in this exact position a lifetime ago, and he could almost cry.

 _'That's my boy.'_

 _I want to hear you say that to me again._

The tiny sun of fire danced aerially before fading out into black ash that drifted down to float in the lake, and Sasuke looked at his father with wide childish eyes of admiration and hope.

Fugaku appeared unfazed. "You try it."

Sasuke walked to the edge of the wooden dock, and moved his hands, about to form into the Tiger and Ram seals. Ever since he'd gained that Rinnegan in his past life, he could _read_ chakra and understand it _better_ than with the Mangekyou Sharingan- no matter how small his reserves were, he surely surpassed Sakura in chakra control. He had had the eyes of the Sage of Six Paths. Not now, however, but the memories were still there.

So, Sasuke dropped his hands to his sides, not bothering to do hand seals. He could _move_ his chakra without twitching a muscle- it was all in his tenketsu.

 _You always said it to Itachi and you finally said it to me when I finally impressed you with the great fireball technique._

 _I wonder...was it true that I was the only one you talked about when you were alone with mother?_

"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!" _  
_

A fireball, nearly double the size of his father's, blew over the lake. It reached _past_ the circumference of the massive kilometer of water, burning into the trees, setting a forest fire.

Fugaku gaped.

Sasuke panted, dropping to his knees. He suddenly felt leftover bile from his stomach threatening to be vomited, and he was completely out of energy. _Dammit, I overexerted myself! I haven't trained this body enough- and it's fucking female! Does this mean I'll have less chakra reserves and stamina, like Sakura?! Tch. I can't allow that. It doesn't matter. Besides Naruto, I'm the strongest man in the world, I won't disappoint..._

Instantly, he whipped his head around to gauge Fugaku's reaction, holding his breath. Surely, he'd demonstrated something Itachi wasn't skilled enough to do- A fireball without hand seals- Was father finally as proud of him like he was with Itachi?

Fugaku's hands clenched and unclenched, his breathing ragged. He stumbled a bit, before sitting himself to the ground. "Ah...Forest...Fire...Hn."

Sasuke looked at his father. Did he make a good impression? What if father decided to place emphasis on him instead, and cut Itachi some slack? Sasuke wanted his acknowledgment _too_.

Fugaku rubbed his temples, and blinked open his Sharingan, turning his head to gaze at Sasuke. After narrowing his eyes to analyze Sasuke's chakra network, Fugaku blinked them back to normal. Apparently, he'd seen what he needed to.

After a few minutes of silent staring from Sasuke waiting for a response, Fugaku took his eyes off the dead fish beginning to float around on the lake, and picked himself up onto his feet. He turned to leave, and Sasuke hopped to his feet and stared at his father's retreating Uchiwa-crested back.

 _This feels...like last time..._

 _He'll acknowledge me, right?_

And then Fugaku paused. "Keep this up and you'll become just like Itachi."

Sasuke sucked in a breath. It felt familiar but it wasn't what he wanted to hear. There was something Father had said in his past lifetime that he wasn't saying now. Sasuke remained quiet, waiting for more.

"I'm signing you up for the Shinobi Academy."

That wasn't it...there was something else he wanted...

But Fugaku resumed his walking, leaving Sasuke alone in the forest.

 _I did...the same things as last time..._

 _So why...?_

* * *

 _..._

* * *

Itachi's Chuunin Exam was in a year. In 2 years, Itachi would be in ANBU. In 4 years, he would be promoted to ANBU Captain, and slaughter everyone.

Sasuke had 4 years to stop Danzo, "Tobi," and the Hokage. The rest he could deal with later.

But as for "Tobi," there was no doubt the Madara-fake and Itachi made contact much sooner than that. Sasuke had to make sure the two didn't meet in this timeline. He had to keep an eye on Itachi to be sure.

The only plausible solution would be to meet Tobi _first_ before Itachi does, maybe deceive the imposter into thinking Sasuke would be the better candidate to end the Uchiha...but was it even possible to surpass Itachi in ranks and make _Uchiha Itachi_ into the 'little brother'?

 _That's impossible. I'm trapped inside my four-year-old female body. No matter how power I am, they'll see me as..._

...

 _Henge._

The Transformation Technique he _never_ bothered to use.

 _Heheheheh._

 _I know what to do._

Sasuke had forgotten something important. _  
_

 _Naruto_ was also getting a 3-year head start at the Academy.


	5. 5: Weak Pig 弱猪

弱猪

* * *

Sasuke shut his eyes, and breathed. When he opened them, a man, twice his height, with spiky black hair that reached his waist, red metal plates for a samurai armor, a gunbai and matching Mangekyou Sharingan eyes, stood in front of him…inside the closet mirror.

 _…Uchiha Madara…_

Sasuke's eyes trailed up and down Madara's body, as Madara assessed him judgingly. He crossed his arms, and Madara crossed his own arrogantly.

"Hn." Sasuke snorted, only it was a girly soft pitch.

"Hn." Madara appeared to snort.

Sasuke's eye twitched.

Madara's eye twitched.

"Hnnnn." Sasuke deepened the pitch of his voice, trying to mimick the original Madara from his memories of the 5th Shinobi War from his past life. "Hnnnnnnnn." He almost sounded like an adult now.

Suddenly, the sound of light footsteps drew closer to his room.

Sasuke quickly shut his mouth and dispelled his transformation jutsu, back into his 5-year-old form.

The door opened to reveal Itachi with his stoic, but secretly concerned, face.

"Nii-san!" Sasuke shouted eagerly, almost choking in his own high pitch. _I-Itachi!_ His eyes filled with tears. "I-I-t-"

"Imouto, was there someone else in your room earlier?" Itachi inquired.

"No," Sasuke immediately shot back. He wasn't lying, it was just himself trying to impersonate Madara Uchiha.

"I…see." Itachi closed his eyes, moving the palm of his hand towards his own forehead. He appeared deep in thought.

"O-Oi!" Sasuke started. _Tch! Itachi must be doing all sorts of S-rank missions at this time period, or handling clan politics under my father. Those lines under his eyes; nii-san is stressed out. He probably thinks he was imagining Madara's voice—_

Sasuke grabbed Itachi's hand, and felt his brother stiffen at the contact, only to relax. Itachi's hand tightened around his palm and he felt warm and safe. He stared up at his brother with admiring eyes.

Itachi's parted lips turned into a smile as he reached down and gently poked his forehead. Sasuke pouted, but at least it didn't hurt as much as before when he used chakra.

"Did you want to train, little Sasuke?" Itachi questioned. "I may…be able to spare a little time, this time around…"

"YES!" Sasuke tackled Itachi to the floor, hugging him tightly, before realizing what he was doing and quickly withdrew back. _This is nuts. I'm acting like Naruto now!_ Thinking back to those various times when Naruto jumped onto Kakashi and hugged him out of gratefulness. Sasuke shuddered at the memories of the knucklehead that he was embarrassed to be teammates with.

Itachi just sat there numbly, no doubt surprised that Sasuke uncharacteristically hugged him then jumped off like he was a hot potato. Regaining his senses, he cleared his throat. "I have a high-level D-rank mission. Would you like to see how a real mission is done, imouto?" Itachi tempted.

Sasuke smirked, amused. "Yes, nii-san."

But when Itachi lifted Sasuke into his arms, Sasuke freaked out. He'd never been carried anywhere before.

Then Itachi body flickered across Konoha.

Sasuke panicked in Itachi's arms and gained motion sickness—When Itachi reappeared on a rooftop with his arrows positioned to shoot a boar, Sasuke collapsed onto the roof tiles, dead, but not quite.

* * *

弱猪

* * *

Itachi lowered his bow, looking to a dead-looking Sasuke.

Suddenly, the bow was snatched from his hands as Sasuke recovered.

"Nii-san, watch this!" Sasuke exclaimed, pulling back the arrow. He shot it at the boar the same way he used Susanoo and it hit the boar's eye.

Out of rage, the wild boar blindly charged the hay house Sasuke stood on.

"AAAH!" Sasuke jumped onto Itachi's back. "RUN, NII-SAN!"

Itachi was still recovering from the shock that Sasuke hit the bull's eye, so only when the house exploded into pieces that Itachi gripped a firmer hold onto Sasuke's thighs and leapt to a different building.

Sasuke felt dizzy; he didn't notice when the boar finally fell asleep, because Sasuke also fell asleep on Itachi's back.

Itachi sighed. "The arrows were tipped with paralysis. I didn't expect a convenient _fluke_ , but how am I going to explain the blinded eye?"

Frowning, he tilted his head to look at the resting Sasuke, before shaking his head with the same amused smirk his sibling displayed earlier. "Foolish little sister."

 _Foolish indeed._

* * *

弱猪

* * *

When Itachi arrived home, his father was waiting at the front entrance of their compound

"Ah." Fugaku nodded once. "So that's where you both were."

Itachi inclined his head respectfully, as he fell into step beside his father, walking back towards their living quarters.

"I presume you've been out training Sasuke?"

Itachi wondered about that. "I suppose you could say that, although," Itachi smirked. "Sasuke was sick half the time, and asleep the other half. She has a very fragile body. With a bit of higher speed motion, she has to puke, even when I purposely moved her at a slower speed than the average genin. Her aim is atrocious. She lacks focus, she's clumsy and she's extremely _weak_. With training and hard work, she can eventually achieve the level of an average shinobi, but that is the fullest extent of her limits." Itachi lied with false determination. It has always been his plan to downgrade every one of Sasuke's achievements whenever he was alone with his father. It was better this way, because Fugaku would ignore Sasuke completely and focus his efforts onto Itachi. Sasuke would remain innocent.

Or at least, that's what he thought.

Sasuke purposely kept his breathing slow to give off the impression of being asleep, but he heard every word. It stung his pride, but at the same time, it explained things he always wanted to know during his childhood.

Fugaku hummed. "I…see."

 _Wait! I showed father the Grand Fireball Jutsu the other day! Father will find out that Itachi is lying about my weakness! …_

 _…_

 _No…That's actually a good thing. Right?_

"Well, kunoichi are meant to be married off for political gain," Fugaku stated bluntly. "I see you've gotten close to Shisui Uchiha, correct?"

Itachi tensed, but nodded.

"Good, good. He's the son of Kagami Uchiha, the Nidaime Hokage's student. Out of all the Uchiha, he has the most power from the Konoha Council, and he's a loyal Uchiha. You must remain in good terms with Shisui as the future leader of our clan," Fugaku advised. "Expect him to become your brother-in-law in the far future."

Itachi was only 9 years old, but he knew what that implied. Sasuke was being betrothed off to his best friend. Itachi's dislike for the Uchiha clan grew a little deeper.

Sasuke, however, was sweating hard and blushing out of humiliation. He kept his cool and pretended to be asleep, but he was pissed. _YOU FUCKING FATHER, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!? AND ITACHI! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD?! MY AIM WAS PERFECT! I'M THE ONE TRYING TO PROTECT YOU AND MAKE YOU LOOK WEAK IN COMPARISON, NOT THE REVERSE! I DON'T NEED YOUR PROTECTION!_ Sasuke pretended to be asleep.

When they entered their home and Itachi put Sasuke back in bed, Sasuke still pretended to be asleep.

When Itachi left the room, Sasuke climbed out the window.

 _There are a few things I still have to settle. Until then, I don't have time to rest._

 _Sorry, nii-san. It won't be you saying "Maybe some other time," anymore._

 _It'll be me._

* * *

弱猪


	6. Your ONLY Friend

我的

* * *

It was stupid, really, but direct of him.

The first thing Sasuke did, was run into a dark alley. No one followed him, no one cared where he went. He was, after all, the second born, and just a daughter. And, unlike the Hyuuga, the Uchiha didn't use escorts for their offspring.

So Sasuke used minimum effort to run and escape, and slide into the poorer civilian districts with many buildings and less people.

It didn't take him long to reach Naruto's house.

Sasuke stopped, and tilted his head up to look at the run-down, graffiti-stained building.

Sasuke's breath hitched at what he was going to ask of...Naruto...Not to mention, he was going to see him again.

His ears went red as he looked down, kicking at the ground- still ashamed of his past screw-up with fuuinjutsu, that landed him into this situation in the first place. It was beyond humiliating, to think that maybe he should have contacted Naruto and got the Uzumaki idiot to decipher that mysterious seal.

Well...now that he's learned his lesson, he was going to ask Naruto for help.

But...

Taking a look, and making the slightest of a hand sign, he sensed that there was no one within range except Naruto's chakra. Sasuke's brow furrowed. Naruto was the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, but security was extremely lass. How incompetent WAS the Sandaime Hokage?

Sasuke hoped the Third would die soon. Most of the hatred came from the Third being one of the Elders who instigated his clan's genocide because he was such an ineffective Hokage.

He closed his eyes, and tried tugging open a pocket dimension that he was so skilled in doing in his past life. A hole opened up in front of him, and through that hole was the inside of Naruto's apartment.

Sasuke jumped inside, and promptly tripped onto the wooden tiles.

Then pain hit is body, and eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!" Sasuke screamed, his eyes bleeding. He clenched his eyes, and curled inwards his body as they bled freely. The blood refused to stop flowing- and what was worse-

He felt someone tugging his shoulders and shake him hard, like he was going insane. Fucking Naruto, who else.

Then he registered a pail of water being poured atop his head, soaking all his clothes wet as the freezing cold water burned his hot eyes.

Sasuke promptly bit his tongue and shut himself up, opening his Mangekyou Sharingan eyes to glare into normal cerulean ones.

The look on her face was murderous.

"You fucking usuratonkachi!"

Those were the first words Sasuke said to the four year old boy, and Naruto gasped and fell onto his butt, coming down to the same height as the not-last Uchiha.

"I- I- Y-You-" The blond boy pointed a shaky finger at Sasuke. "W-Who are you and what are you doing here and why were you screaming like there's a ghost are you screaming because of me and why are your eyes all weird and red and bloody and I'm fuckin-" Sasuke slapped a hand over Naruto's mouth. Naruto shut up.

He shook his head, unable to hold back a smirk as he wiped his face with his wet shirt. "No matter where I am, you never change, Naruto."

Naruto's eyes widened as he pushed the stranger hand away. "How do you know my name?"

Sasuke ignored the dobe, choosing to stare at the air, lost in thought, contemplating his life.

Two minutes past, and Sasuke was still trapped inside his thoughts. Naruto grew bored. Apparently this stranger wasn't afraid of him or trying to ignore him, otherwise he/she'd be leaving already. And he/she knew his name!

"Ne, ne," Naruto started bugging him/her. He couldn't tell his gender, nor did he know who this kid was. "What are you doing here, weirdo?"

Sasuke snapped, "I'm Uchiha Sasuke! And I'm here to-..." Sasuke went silent, touching his eyelids. They had stopped hurting, although his chakra levels were woozy.

Naruto tilted his head. "Oi, Sasuke...Are you a boy or girl?"

"I'm a boy-!" Sasuke choked. _Should I tell him that? What if the dobe later finds out I'm female? Would that raise complications in his trust? I need his trust if I want to save Itachi._ "I'm a girl," _she_ corrected _her_ self.

"Argh, make up your mind, teme!" Naruto rubbed his hair, before pointing at her. "You don't act like a girl! Girls don't run around with bleeding eyes!"

Sasuke's eye twitched. "How about this: I'm physically a girl, mentally a boy."

Naruto burst out laughing but Sasuke slapped him over the back of his head. He can't believe this hyperactive knucklehead was the one that changed his entire philosophy on life. Sasuke hated Naruto so much, even though Naruto was the only person who reached 1% of Itachi's importance, and that's considered a lot. The rest of the world was 0% in regards to Itachi's importance.

Which brought him back to the main point, "Naruto, you've always considered me as your best friend," Sasuke said. Seeing the baffled look on Naruto's face, Sasuke sighed and pointed at the dobe's chest, where his heart was supposed to be. "In _spirit_. Besides, you're the only person I am willing to consider a friend. Even if I dislike you."

Naruto had a befuddled expression as he processed Sasuke's words. Sasuke left Naruto stranded in the living room as he began exploring the mess of Naruto's apartment. Ramen cups and garbage over the floors, a messy kitchen with an empty fridge, Sasuke noted as he shut the left-open refrigerator door, ruffled bedsheets- someone didn't make the bed- and a punching bag. It was such a tiny apartment, fit for a person who lived alone. It was nothing like the mansion-sized Uchiha clan head's living quarters. Sasuke would have felt pity if he hadn't suffered worse-

No. None of that future has happened yet. So Sasuke allowed himself to feel pity, because he was not going to let himself experience the forthcoming doom. He stopped and let himself ruminate.

Suddenly, Naruto glomped Sasuke from behind tackling him to the ground as he hugged him and cried and cried and sobbed.

"I- my- there's no- I don't know if I heard right-" The four year old hugged him desperately. "..you said you're my friend...did you...?"

And then Sasuke stilled. He tilted his head and stared into Naruto's wet, wide eyes with the bitter, frigid darkness and insanity of the Mangekyou Sharingan.

"Yes. I am your friend, Naruto." Sasuke smirked, and it would have looked outright evil and sent shudders through the most powerful shinobi, were he not trapped in the body of a child. "Your one, **and only** , best friend."

* * *

我的


End file.
